some of my fave quotes

If debugging is the art of removing bugs, then programming must be the art of putting them in.
-- Edsger W. Dijkstra

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
-- Dilbert

Because light travels faster than sound, some people appear to be intelligent, until you hear them speak.

Person who say it cannot be done should not interrupt person doing it.
-- Confucius

It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
-- Mark Twain

A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.

If you must argue, remember that it is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
-- Dilbert

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish he will buy an ugly hat. And if you talk about fish to a starving man then you are a consultant.
-- Dilbert

If you spend all of your time arguing with people who are nuts, you’ll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
-- Dilbert

Never answer a question unless you know exactly who is asking, why it is being asked, and what will be done with the information.
-- Dilbert

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
-- Dilbert

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

There is never a right way, only a better way.

Nothing is impossible for people who don't have to do it themselves.

There are 2 kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there.
-- Indira Gandhi

Prostitutes are also customer-focused and market-driven.
-- Kevin McCurle

Some problems don't go away until people retire.

The most serious idleness is to be busy about things that do not matter.
-- Chinese proverb

Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
-- Mario Andretti

Speed, quality, price. Pick any two.
-- James M. Wallace

Programming is like sex: One mistake and you support it a lifetime.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.
-- Dilbert

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
-- Dilbert

One “oh shit” can erase a thousand attaboys.
-- Dilbert

Technical people respond to questions in three ways: It is technically impossible (meaning: I don’t feel like doing it); It depends (meaning: abandon all hope of a useful answer); The data bits are flexed through a collectimizer which strips the flow-gate arrays into virtual message elements (meaning: I don’t know).
-- Dilbert

When did ignorance become a point of view?
-- Dilbert